Vegeta's Worst Nightmare
by Saiyan
Summary: Trunks' announcement that he's going to marry Pan sends Vegeta on a mad search for a way to stop the wedding. Will Vegeta succeed or will he have to face being related to Goku. Rated for some cuss words and a little sexual humor. Written in 20 minutes.


Vegeta's Worst Nightmare **Vegeta's Worst Nightmare** by Saiyan  
  
Vegeta was laying on the couch sleeping with a TV Guide on his stomach when Trunks ran into the house.   
"GUESS WHAT EVERYBODY!? I'M ENGAGED!!!!!" Trunks yelled happily   
Vegeta was startled by the yelling and fell off the couch and broke the coffee table. After a little while Vegeta realized what Trunks said. Bulma, Bra, and Vegeta quickly gathered around Trunks.   
"Boy I demand you tell me who you're engaged to!" Vegeta said   
"I'm engaged to Pan, isn't it great!?" Trunks said happily   
"Oh no you're not!" Vegeta said angrily   
"Shut up Vegeta, he can marry whoever he wants to" Bulma said   
"No way, if he marries Pan than that would make her my daughter-in-law and that would make Gohan my brother-in-law and that would make Kakarotto my father-in-law so NO WAY YOU'RE MARRYING HER!!" Vegeta yelled   
"Um..actually dad I don't think.." Trunks began to say that Goku wouldn't be Vegeta's father-in-law but Vegeta ran out of the room screaming before he could   
Vegeta ran out of the house and flew away as fast as he could.   
_There is no way I'm going to be related to Kakarotto's family _Vegeta thought fearfully as he continued to fly   
He flew to the local 7-11 where he was sure nobody he knew would go.   
"Now I have to think of a way to stop it" Vegeta said   
"Stop what?" a voice behind him asked   
Vegeta turned around and saw Goten standing there drinking a slushy.   
"None of your business spawn of Kakarotto" Vegeta said   
"Ok, hey Vegeta did you hear that Trunks got engaged to Pan? That means you'll be my brother-in-law, and Gohan's too" Goten said happily   
Vegeta flew out of there freaked out and went to a lawyer he saw on TV.   
"GIVE ME LAWS THAT SAY MY SON CAN'T MARRY KAKAROTTO'S GRANDDAUGHTER NOW!!!" Vegeta yelled at the lawyer   
"Give me a minute and I'll look it up" The lawyer said as he grabbed a legal book and began flipping pages   
"I GOT IT!" the lawyer said happily   
"You found a law that stops my son from marring anyone from Kakarotto's family?" Vegeta asked happily   
"No, I found a law that will let me legally practice law for at least another week!" the lawyer said happily   
"FIND A DAMN LAW FOR ME!!" Vegeta yelled   
"Ok" the lawyer said as he began looking through another legal book   
"Here we go, this law says that no one under five feet tall can be out after 10:00 PM" the lawyer said   
Vegeta began shaking and the vein on his head began to bulge.   
"Find me a law that will stop my son from marrying Pan NOW YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!" Vegeta yelled   
"Ok" the lawyer said as he looked through another book   
"How much of an age difference between your son and his fiancee?" the lawyer asked   
"About 14 years" Vegeta said   
"Alright, I got one, your son cannot legally marry her and if he tries we can sue him and maybe even castrate him" the lawyer said   
Vegeta's eyes widened with a look of absolute horror as the lawyer mentioned the horrible atrocity known as castration.   
"I might be the worst parent in the world but I would NEVER castrate my son" Vegeta stated freaked out   
"Ok then, we'll just sue him" the lawyer said   
"and if we lose we can always get the Japanese mafia on him" the lawyer whispered as he leaned closer to Vegeta   
"NO, NO MAFIA, THAT MOVIE SUCKED ASS!!" Vegeta yelled   
The lawyer became completely confused.   
"Ok then we'll just sue, how's right now for you?" the lawyer asked   
"I could do it right now, that should teach him a lesson really quick" Vegeta said happily   
"Ok then get him down to the courtroom and we'll begin" the lawyer said   
Vegeta flew to Capsule Corp and went inside.   
"BOY GET DOWN HERE NOW!" Vegeta yelled   
Trunks ran downstairs smiling.   
"Yea dad?" Trunks asked happily   
"I'm suing you so you can't marry Kakarotto's grandbrat" Vegeta said   
"You can't do that" Trunks said   
"Wanna bet, I'm doing it right now!" Vegeta said   
"I CAN'T BELIVE YOU VEGETA!!" Bulma yelled as she walked up to him   
"I have the right to teach the boy a lesson" Vegeta said   
"So you broke the coffee table to teach Trunks a lesson huh? Well I'll teach you a lesson now! NO SEX FOR A MONTH!!" Bulma yelled   
Trunks would have cringed if he wasn't so angry.   
"Oh, you're talking about the coffee table, I thought you were talking about me suing Trunks so he can't marry Pan" Vegeta said   
"YOU'RE DOING WHAT?!" Bulma yelled   
"Well wait until we get into court, I'll have a special surprise for you" Bulma said as she got Trunks and Bra in the car   
Vegeta flew over to the courthouse and when he got there he saw that there were a bunch of TV reporters there with cameras and before the reporters could ask him any questions his lawyer rushed him into the courtroom and onto the plaintiff side. Soon after Trunks and Pan walked in and got on the defendant side followed by an odd looking man in a suit.   
"Who the hell is that?" Vegeta asked   
"I think that's your son" the lawyer responded   
"Not him you dumbfuck, the old guy" Vegeta said   
"Oh shit, that's Johnny Cochrin" Vegeta's lawyer said   
"Who?" Vegeta asked   
"A damn good lawyer, I saw him win a case for Chef on Southpark" Vegeta's lawyer said   
Bulma and Bra sat right behind Trunks and Pan and soon after the media was let into the room and the first thing Bulma did was face them and grab her purse.   
"Look at these" Bulma said as she pulled out a pair of boxers with pink hearts all over them   
"These are Vegeta's boxers and they're his favorites too" Bulma said as the people with cameras began filming   
Vegeta had a horrified look on his face as he looked away. His lawyer began giggling so Vegeta gave him a death glare which shut him up. Soon the judge entered the courtroom and the prosecution began their case.   
"Your honor this case is a very simple one, my client simply wants what is in the best interest of his crack addicted anorexic mentally challenged quadruple amputated son's best interest" Vegeta's lawyer said and then sat back down   
The judge looked confused.   
"Ok, now the defenses opening statement" the judge said   
Johnny Cochrin stood up and began his statement.   
"Your honor this is Amuro Ray" Johnny Cochrin said as he set up a picture of Amuro Ray   
"Now Amuro's girlfriend is Frow Bow, who is a homely and very ugly girl, now it is obvious from Amuro's curly red hair and short stature that he isn't very handsome but he didn't even try for the incredibly sexy Sayla Mass who doesn't have a boyfriend, why is that? It doesn't make any sense, just like this case doesn't make any sense, thank you" Johnny Cochrin said and then sat down   
"Ok now the prosecution" the judge said   
"Your honor their is a law that says that two people that have more than ten years in age difference cannot get married, that's all" Vegeta's lawyer said   
"But they love each other" Johnny Cochrin said   
"Is this true?" the judge asked   
"Yes" Trunks and Pan answered   
"Damnit" Vegeta's lawyer said   
"What?" Vegeta asked   
"The law says that two people with more than ten years age difference can't marry unless they love each other" Vegeta's lawyer said   
"What?" Vegeta asked angrily   
"Judgement for the defendant" the judge said as he slammed his hammer against the desk   
"Well I guess I'll be collecting my payment now" Vegeta's lawyer said   
"Oh I'll give you payment, FINAL FLASH!" Vegeta yelled as he fired the energy beam and killed his lawyer   
Everyone was happy because there was one less lawyer in the world.   
Vegeta walked out of the courtroom while reporters kept trying to get him to comment on the boxers.   
Vegeta flew home and the rest of his family got there soon after.   
"You know dad the wedding's tomorrow and I need a bachelor party so do you want to throw one for me?" Trunks asked   
"I thought the best man was supposed to do that" Vegeta said   
"Yea, but if I let Goten do it we'd all be playing 'Pin the Tail on the Donkey' or something dumb like that all night" Trunks said   
Vegeta thought for a minute and decided that if the party was crazy enough Pan might call the whole wedding off.   
"Sure I'll do it" Vegeta said with an evil smile   
Vegeta got a bunch of beer and got strippers and Trunks invited people over.   
"Um, I think I'll leave now" Bra said seeing that strippers were showing up   
Bra left and Bulma followed.   
After about 2 hours Vegeta decided to call Pan so he picked up the phone and dialed.   
"Hello" Pan said happily   
"Come over now" Vegeta said   
"Why? Is Trunks in trouble or something?" Pan asked   
"Yes, he is" Vegeta said   
"Ok, I'll be right over" Pan said and hung up   
"Or actually I should say he WILL BE in a lot of trouble real soon" Vegeta said evily as he hung up   
Pan arrived and saw Trunks getting a lap dance from some girl so she kicked her ass and kicked all the strippers out of the house.   
"Um, Pan I can explain" Trunks said   
"No need, I know you love a good lap dance but I think you'd better let me do it from now on" Pan said   
"HELL YEA!! YOU GOT A DEAL!" Trunks said happily   
"See you tomorrow at the church" Pan said and left   
All the guests got pissed so they took the beer and left. Trunks went up to his room and went to sleep leaving Vegeta standing by the door angry that it didn't work. Vegeta decided that he could create better schemes if he was fully rested so he went up and got some sleep too. The next morning when Vegeta woke up he saw he was in the church and dressed in dress clothes.   
"How the hell did I get here?" Vegeta asked   
"I dressed you and with a little help from Bra..well..here you are" Bulma said   
The music began and Pan began walking down the isle in a very expensive looking wedding dress and after what seemed like hours to Vegeta she made it to Trunks. Vegeta drifted out for most of it but came back near the end.   
"Do you promise to love, honor and cherish each other as long as you both shall live?" the preacher asked   
"I do" Pan and Trunks responded   
"Then you may sing the Barney theme song" the preacher said   
"I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you won't you say you love me too" Pan and Trunks sang and then kissed   
"Isn't this great Vegeta, now we're family" Goku said as he hugged Vegeta   
"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Vegeta screamed and then jumped out of bed   
Vegeta was breathing heavily and sweating all over as well as shaking all over.   
"What's wrong?" Bulma asked half asleep   
"Did Trunks marry Pan?" Vegeta asked in a scared voice   
"Of course not, go back to sleep" Bulma said as she fell back asleep   
Vegeta got back into the bed.   
"I am so glad that was only a dream" Vegeta said   
"I couldn't imagine what it would be like to be related to Kakarotto" Vegeta said with a shiver   
  
The End   
  
(Ok since a few people didn't understand the ending I'll explain it to you all so there won't be any more confusion. Vegeta was having a dream about Trunks getting engaged to Pan. The entire fic was Vegeta's dream. That's why it ended the way it did.) 


End file.
